This week, we have a replay of the Ms Protocol presentation that dawn and I did in central Ohio a few weeks ago. We also have our first ’squee!’ moment with being reverse star struck and dig on awesome vendors Brian and Dottie Wolf from Needle Play Design.

Listen to the
Erotic Awakening Podcast by clicking on the below for iTunes

or here for all other subscription possibilities

On this weeks show, we talk to the members of Castle Griffin, a Ms based polyamorous educational service household.

We also hear about the upcoming Adventures in Sexuality: COPE event and listen to a short promo for JUJUN, the new audio book by Graydancer

Listen to the
Erotic Awakening Podcast by clicking on the below for iTunes

or here for all other subscription possibilities

I had an awesome weekend at Woodsstocks. Met wonderful people and had a great time.

One thing that really surprised me though, was what turned out to be so special. I would think the presentation,
or a scene or time spent with new friends would be what stands out in my memories. But, even though all of that was
great…what stands out the most is my chance to do service.

Another leather house was there and the submissive of the house had brought real dishes and table clothes and such
for all of the meals. The Master of the house invited Dan and I to join them during one of their lunches. Dan offered
my services to help serve the meal. I was so excited at the prospect!!! In the past I would have been a little nervous.
But, not this time. This really spoke to my heart and I knew I’d make Sir proud. I showed up early to the lunch space
and offered my services to the head slave. She showed me how she likes to set the table. I layed out cloth napkins and
flowers on each plate. I put together bowls of strawberries and cherries. I placed glasses of drink in the correct place
on the table. I stood with the other submissives as we waited for the Dominants to take their place. I waited to eat until
the head Master had had his first bite and Dan told me I could eat.

Then, Dan stood and thanked the Master of the house for inviting us to lunch with them and let them know that he was honored.
I got up from the table and retreived the fruit juice that he had brought for camping, and some chocolate that we had bought the night before,
offered it to the Master and then to the rest of the house. I loved how it made me feel to be serving the host house with our house’s
offering of gratitude.

Dan was my Master and I was his slave. We were of one leather house, having formal lunch with another leather house. Being able
To serve in such an environment …..the experience was amazing to me. My heart was happy.

I had to go thank them more than once for providing such an atmosphere and giving me the chance to serve.

In June, we realized we missed having a peer group of people who are either in 24×7 power exchange relationships, or identify as lifestyle Master, Dominants, submissives or slaves. We had a great turn out so are hosting another one. We are going to sit around and chat about topics that are related to Ms and Ds and TPE relationships. And we are inviting you to join us.
It will be an informal gathering, in a roundtable open discussion format. We’ve run a few of these in the past and they go pretty easy once you get them moving.

* What – Ms roundtable
* When – Saturday, July 25th at 2pm
* Where – to be determined
* Who – anyone interested in Ms/Ds as a lifestyle

Want to learn more? We’ll try to keep information updated here -> http://tinyurl.com/colmschat

Questions? Feel free to write me at chg2winter at gmail dot com

Our first informal gather went great! We had a good time, good turn out, and a lot of positive feedback. More coming

My journey from a submissive to a slave

Sometimes it’s hard to sit here and put into words something that so changed my life. How do you put into words what drives you to pull out a piece of yourself and try to live a fantasy life with it? Then, how it becomes not just a fantasy, but your life, your being?

It is very hard for me to put into words my journey from submissive to slave. I don’t even remember if it was a goal of mine or that I understood the difference between the two until it happened.

When Dan and I decided to move into together, we knew that we were going to give D/s a try on a deeper level than we had done before. Before it was ….well, not so much ‘play’….but it wasn’t 24/7. We were only D/s during certain times that we had set up before hand. This little taste of D/s became a very real craving for me. The times of submission that I experienced spoke to my soul. I needed to submit to Dan. I enjoyed that fear that happened from trusting him and that growth that happened when I walked through the fears. I enjoyed trusting someone so completely. That is where my empowerment came from. I’ve had a distrust of people for a long time and a distrust of myself. To totally let that go and trust that my Dominant had my best interest at heart, was very heady for me. Though I struggled with some of the commands, I wanted to let go more and more. I resisted and even as a submissive, I still questioned some of the things that he had me do. I didn’t want to question. I wanted to be completely his and totally trusting of what he would have me do.

I worked on that, not knowing where it would lead me, but knowing that is where I wanted to be. I stopped pointing things out to him that I wanted him to recognize. I trusted that he knew me well enough to know what I needed. I stopped asking questions or at least knew how to ask the questions with respect. I sank deeper and deeper into my submission to Him. Those that knew me knew that I put Him first. And I did. Taking care of Him was my goal and serving Him was my true passion.

Then, there came a day that I stopped asking ‘why’. I just did as I was told and believed that is what I was supposed to do. I took care of Him as completely as I could. My mind was always on how I could serve Him. The resistence had left. We both recognized that I had become slave. No trumpets, no fanfare. It just was. I then understood the difference between submissive and slave. It is beyond words. It is a way of being. It is who I am.

Today, a belt was wrapped around my neck and I was pulled down to kiss His feet. I obeyed instantly and completely. No question as to why this was happening or if it was punishment or reward or anything else. I obeyed. I kissed His feet. I was totally present in the action of the moment and being allowed to worship his feet and therefore, Him. I did not struggle or question. There was no struggle in my heart. As he pulled me up, the belt tightened and the blackness began creeping in from the sides of my vision. I did not struggle. I trusted completely that he would take care of me. He did so as I knew he would. Over the years he has earned my complete trust. He is my Master. I am His slave.

Recently, we realized we miss having a peer group of people who are either in 24×7 power exchange relaitonships, or identify as lifestyle Master, Dominants, submissives or slaves. I asked around and no one spoke up about having such a discussion group running for people who are not members of a specific group (in the Columbus area). We’ve had a few people email or IM us about getting this sort of thing started and how it would make them happy to attend. So…

So, we decided to host one. We are going to sit around and chat about topics that are related to Ms and Ds and TPE relationships. And we are inviting you to join us.

It will be an informal gathering, in a roundtable open discussion format. We’ve run a few of these in the past and they go pretty easy once you get them moving.

We will be meeting at 6 PM, on June 21rst. Location to be determined.

What – Ms roundtable

When – 6 PM, June 21rst

Where – to be determined

Who – anyone interested in Ms/Ds as a lifestyle

Questions? Feel free to write me at chg2winter at gmail dot com

* We are not associated with any group nor are we creating a new one. We are just people of common interest, discussing a common topic.

* When we say Dom or Master, we are not talking about topping in a scene. We are not talking about anything related to play. We are talking about this as a lifestyle.

* Will this be a one time event? Or happen every month? Or every 3rd Wednesday of a month with a new moon? Depends on if people like the idea or if we find out another group already does this (no reason to reinvent the wheel)

A few days ago I told (my submissive) to do something. I did not tell her to have it done by Monday or by any specific day. But I feel like it should have been done by now.

This could be considered unfair of me to have expectations and not clearly communicate them, and in a younger relationship it would be.

But there gets to a point of being instinctive. On my part and on hers.

I told (my submissive)”do this” and I feel like it should be done now. Cultivating instinct – I feel thus, and thus I act, and act rightly – is very important to develop in a Dom/me. And actually…act rightly isn’t as important as action.

For me, the trick is don’t let your brain get too involved in this. My brain checked in – “how long has it been; what else is going on; were my instructions clear?” but I have to be careful that I won’t make excuses. The instinct – this should be done by now – comes first. Then, the brain is only used to temper my response. Should there be punishment (significant physical or loss of privilege), discipline (stand in the corner, write an apology, or kneel while I explain the failure) or just a push (not so gentle reminder, vocal confirmation that she is working on it).

(An essay I wrote a short time ago)

I began this trip some time back. Unlike many people I have met (ok, not
met, but seen online), I can not claim that at 44 years old I’ve been a
Master for 30 years. No, my first relationships and two marriages were as
Vanilla as Vanilla can be. It wasn’t until 2000 that I started a
relationship that had a power exchange element to it from the get go, and
not until 2001 that a collar became a permanent part of someones neck in my
charge. That is the point I went from bedroom dom, to Dom, to Master.

I did not earn my leathers at that point. I did not get a cool scene name
after serving under a powerful mentor. Instead, I claimed a slave, and the
responsibilites of that, on a 24/7 full time basis. That is what defines a
Master – claiming responsiblity for the training, well being, *and *actions
of a slave.

My slave and I created a Ds support group, and after some time, created
another. We hosted over a dozen formal events and taught an occasion class
on Ds/Ms relationships.

Other slaves came and went into the life of my first slave and mine (“There
have been others, to be sure. There are always others, are there not?”)*.
But I have never been one to have more than two (ok, a very brief instance
of three) at a time as my style of training is not suited to more than a few
at a time. And my needs are not so extravagant to need 5 or 6 slaves.
Each slave that came into my life brought honor and benifit to me and our
House. I believe that they gained something from their association with us
as well.

At a point, I stripped my first slave of her collar, and we tried to be
not-Ms. Over time, more and more Ms came into our life regardless. No
collar, no formal contract, no titles. But a slaves heart serving, a Masters
desire…it naturally flowed back to us.

And as important events happen in our lives, we came to realize that a
position of strength for us is that bond, that Ms relationship we created
and nutured for so many years. We have let it live subtle within us, but now
we are ready to once more acknowledge and claim it.

You see, I think I had forgotten that I am a Master. I had forgotten that
nearly all of my healthy relationships have been Ms ones. I fell in love
with a vanilla girl (well, vanilla twist), Karen, and although my relationship with
first slave continued with a subtle Ds heart beat, I began to do well in a
non Ms relationship as well, as a non Ms person. And fortunately, Karen and my relationship
continued to grow, and faced with new challenges, I feel back and
back until I found my seat of power. My center, my seat of power, my
balance, is that I am a Master. And it does not change the relationship with
“vanilla twist” – I have no desire to be her Master nor to change who she is
or who we are. Our relationship is in balance as is – as long as I do not
reject who I am, or try to live in a style I don’t have the tools for. There
are perhaps a 1000 ways to do poly, we are finding our path.

And this Master bows to his first slave.
I bow to you, dansarani, for I know how you have suffered before we became
who we are. I know how you struggled to become what you viewed where you
should be. I know how you have flown free – sometimes with success, sometime
with anguish. And here you are, waiting for me to claim you once more. When
you no longer need to be claim, but just want it. Waiting, even though now
you know me better than ever, and know I will not protect you from pain, but
will do what I can to prevent harm.

When will you come to your senses and beg for that collar?
When will I remember my honor and demand you take it?

GRALE

JANUARY 10, 2009

A DAY of ENLIGHTMENT the FUN WAY!!!

For a one day event GRALE is proud to present for your lifestyle Enlightenment not one but two of the hottest presenting couples on today’s lifestyle circuit!

Kicking off our day of Fun will be …

Dan & Dawn

They will be presenting for us….

Sensual Humiliation/Slutty Sex for Real Relationships …

Through exercises and demonstrations, they will explore using humiliation play to assist participants in finding and releasing your inner slut. They will discuss getting started, approaching and being in tune with the scene, and slut play related aftercare. “This is not the ‘you are a fat pig so fuck me while I spit on you’ style (which can be fun and many find erotic)” said one attendee, “but instead a more subtle approach, one which draws the inner slut out – yet still clearly confronted with there desire and sluttish self”.

AND

Living D/s

They will discuss what you can expect from a real time Dom/sub relationship. They will rely on their years of experience both as a contracted Ds couple of many years and also as leaders of a local Ds support group. They will cover different types of Ds (from Loving Ds to objectification models) and share how they and others have dealt with the challenges of moving from a fantasy to a working Ds household. Living D/s.

GREAT people with GREAT presentations coming to our community for a GREAT day of FUN!